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what in the heck?okay, i have started to believe that i am a piece of shit person for whom there is no hope of ever succeeding in life. all of the things that those people who shall not be named because i cannot stand to hear or even think of their names. exccept for some reason i almost don't mind butchie. maybe.
 so here i am basically trying to prove that i am not lying about myself. i do weigh 155 and that is basically my normal weight that i am supposed to be. however, right now, i'm still out of shape and have a spare tire and my arms need more tone. but it just makes me feel like such crap when people try to make me out to be something i am not. my boyfriend is so tired of it he just can't stand to hear about it anymore. but if those dildos saw these pics they'd be saying how gross i am and how i was cheating somehow. 
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Are you blogging on Omnamaste at all anymore? My invite to it is gone... I hope yer alright.
Seriously, I enjoy your stuff about art and painting and food and life. Just blog about that and ignore any comments that bug you...
i just felt like i didn't know how to trust anyone anymore and this whole thing has consumed too much of my time and my boyfriend says he is starting to think those people are right about me, too.
but i intend to moderate and not show the stuff that is so mean. it is only hurtful. i didn't think it would go on this long.
i've got my blog on public again, but these people have a vendetta against me and are trying to infiltrate every aspect of my online life. i even got a suspicious commetn there on buzznet today, some guy i barely know and haven't talked to in at least a year suddenly is questioning about my mothering ability and my progress in life as though it were somehow his business all of a sudden.
he has never acted that way before. it is all very confusing to me. i'm not used to this kind of attacking that just never ends. it's emotional abuse. and nobody really has any compassion for me because they think I am the one who is doing it. even my family. it is very hard.
but my little sister (in h.s. now) once went thru the same, all of her friends in real life started treating her really badly on her myspace. she almost wanted to kill herself and she went into the hospital over it. she had to change schools. this type of behavior should be punishable.