what the fornication?

1. This is the third time i've been tagged with 8 things.  The second time i didn't do it because it fell too soon on the heels of the first, so i thought it should still count.... but now i  think since i didn't do it again the guy who tagged me is very very sad.
2. I just got up and went to the bathroom and then i started a load of laundry.
3. Often I will just let the house be cold and put on warmer clothing and blankets instead of heating up the house. 
   
4. Coffee doesn't keep me awake.
5. My 'American Breakfast' painting needs my attention; but, i haven't felt like painting lately.
6. I never go to my sister's blog anymore although I sometimes feel tempted, I just know it would ultimately leave me feeling crappy, upset or angry. 
   
7. Yesterday at the thrift store, for the first time in two years, I saw a guy that I suddenly felt I was MADLY in LOVE with and i felt the magnetization pull of it btwn us (usu. not a good thing). 
   
8. That is not a good thing.  I would be a hypocrite if i were to follow thru on that feeling in any way (i am in a committed relationship, which is rocky and needs a lot of attn.  which is prolly why 'that guy' suddenly became a factor.  He is also in a very committed life with two young boys.)
   

okay, i have started to believe that i am a piece of shit person for whom there is no hope of ever succeeding in life.  all of the things that those  people who shall not be named because i cannot stand to hear or even think of their names.  exccept for some reason i almost don't mind butchie.  maybe.



so here i am basically trying to prove that i am not lying about myself.
i do weigh 155 and that is basically my normal weight that i am supposed to be.
however, right now, i'm still out of shape and have a spare tire and my arms need more tone.
but it just makes me feel like such crap when people try to make me out to be
something i am not.
my boyfriend is so tired of it he just can't stand to hear about it anymore.
but if those dildos saw these pics they'd be saying how gross i am and how i was cheating somehow.

i can't help it. and why should i?

i was reading A BLOG and this girl was wearing what she called a 'pillowcase dress' and i was all DUDE that looks just like my bathroom curtain! and i got the curtain and wrapped it around me and VOILA.  so i took some pics.  the whole thing was spontaneous and fun and that's the way it goes.

does that make me PSYCHO?

not really.  it makes me a girl.  girls like fashion.  it is fun to try new looks.  i am creative and resourceful.  but i would never wear this curtain without cutting it and sewing it into a real dress.  right now it is just a curtain wrapped around me like a towel.

LOVE YA!!!!!!!

 

okay, checkit.

my boyfriend was in the army for like 8 years.  this was before i knew him.

he was in special forces. a green beret.  teh awesome.  that's hawt. 

but he got disabled partly cuz he chased jumps

and partly cuz shrapnel hit him in the head a few too many times.

so he's been out for like 3 or 4 years now and has been working all this time to get his disability increased, which all of the doctors have vouched for.  but the waiting game is starting to feel more like chinese water torture.  they tell you you'll know for sure by the end of next month and then a year goes by.

you know they'll say yes.  but maybe not.  maybe you'll never hear from them.

these hopes and dreams of years of backpay a new corvette a new bed a new refrigerator

argh

this is too depressing.

but it is our daily life.

and i am disabled too.  i am in the process of applying for disability and i have a doctor who will vouch for me, too.

so there.

oh and even sadder more sad whatev(s)er....

he never wanted to leave the army because he was never happier than when he was in the army

i was talking to my neighbor maizie, over the fence, like wilson on home improvement. 

i feel comfortable that way.

i want to feel more comfortable going inside for a visit, but it makes me nervous for some reason.

i am wearing a skirt for a dress here.  i am holding it up with a brown lace ribbon safety-pinned on and used as a halter.  when i wear halters, i always feel like something is pulling down on my neck.

it seems to really affect me.

effect?

that really does confuse me and i am not sure that i want to know the rule.

normally i do like grammar, but this is a tangent.

my scoliosis (it's MINE i tell you)

makes my back hurt and i need to do yoga i really do and it really does help every minute i do it.

it also really does improve overall health and appearance in many myriad ways.

it is such a liberating feeling knowing that people who hate me will no longer be able to usurp my material and use it against me. 

that sucked, man.

i was to the point where i second guessed everything i wrote, every picture i had on my blog, etcetera.

the blog trolls are like cockroaches.  the infestation has set in surrounding a large circle of blogs.

identitiless harrassers targeting WHOM?

why me?

why?

why?

i don't know.  because i am ugly? boring? fat?

 

this is the result of the hair chopping i did myself yesterday. 

i like it.

i want some shorter layers at the back of the crown, tho.

then i will be ALL SET.

today, i am quitting posting to my blogger blog.

forEVER.  or until i change my mind... but i don't intend to change my mind.

blogger is so OLD NEWS man.

cool peeple use BUZZNET

hasbeens use blogger. ;-)